Rhoda Botkin,

teacher, humanist, adventurer, mom...

This is a tribute to our mom, Rhoda, (written by her children) who died of breast cancer in 1990 at 58 years of age. She loved her life, her work and her family. She was a vivacious and sunny personality who touched many, as woman, wife, mother, educator, traveller and outdoorswoman...

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"She placed a cool hand on our foreheads to soothe a fever or a hurt... There was that special wink that meant a secret shared... Rhoda, my mother, revealed to us a brave, adventurous spirit, bold and curious. With her leading the way, we discovered wonders in the wild, natural world, climbing mountains and running rivers... Rhoda, my mother, offered important pearls of wisdom; advice like "lean downstream in whitewater", and how to execute the perfect cross-bow draw... Rhoda, my mother, showed me how a woman can be strong in her body, her will and her loving spirit -- a precious gift indeed for her only daughter!

"Together with Joseph, my father, Rhoda shared a rich and enduring love which grew and blossomed with time. This powerful bond embraced us kids with strong, sure arms...

"Rhoda, my mother, with the sparkling, dazzling smile, is wondrous to me. I am richly blessed to be her daughter. I love her and will miss her always." -- Laura Botkin

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In addition to Her devotion to her family, Rhoda was a super elementary school teacher, a joyous athlete and an unrepentant adventurer. She was an energetic, strong-willed and pragmatic individual who didn't stop to broadcast her glories. In fact, some of Rhoda's friends, relatives and colleagues had little idea of the unusual life she lived beyond the bounds of home and work!

Rhoda returned to school for her teaching credential in mid life, driven by her idealism and her love of children. I realize now that it was this quality of tenderness and affection toward all beings which came through every phase of her life. Whether making friends with strangers in the wilderness, laughing with her family or helping a shy student open up, Rhoda exuded a warmth, worldliness and a smiling benevolent spirit.

Some people choose teaching as a profession. Rhoda taught because that's who she was. As a teacher, she found that elusive balance between personal commitment and whimsical detachment -- something I think allowed her to remain vital in a field where so many burn out. And, as is true with the best teachers, her ultimate lesson lay in her example, Even within the crusty confines of public school, Rhoda eagerly shared her own sense of wonder and adventure in the natural world. What an example it must have been for her students to see her head off from work all those Friday afternoons, off on yet another whitewater or snowy escapade!

Both of my parents were great role models in this regard -- independent, adventurous and self assured. I remember late night , long distance drinving , the three of us kids blissfully hunkered down in the back of the station wagon... falling asleep to the smell of prarie darkness, the drone of radio and the hushed voices of Mom and Dad taking turns driving on and on...

I picture Mom, happier than ever on all those exotic summer camping excursions out west. We were all such hopeless vagabonds, but in many ways, Ro was the ringleader Botkin. She was the one most tempted by new possibilities, by dirt road "shortcuts" through the mountains, by unexpected human encounters in the backwaters of nowhere, by local treasures of food, art and personality. Camping in a tent gave way to hiking in the wilderness, then backpacking, then cross country skiing, then whitewater canoeing. I believe Rhoda was a prime instigator of all this.

While relatively new to running rivers, Mom and Dad capsized their aluminum canoe in some wilderness rapids of the Flathead River in northern Montana. With their boat bent in half, their gear lost or drenched, they nearly had to spend a freezing night bivouced in grizzly country. But after a lucky rescue and a good cry, they continued their love affair with whitewater, got more experienced and returned another year to do the same stretch of river!

Mommy was unexpectedly diagnosed with breast cancer in 1988. Facing surgery on a Monday, she had to decide how to spend a very long weekend. She asked her doctor if she could do a little canoeing, and he, perhaps envisioning "Golden Pond", said it would be alright. In fact, Rhoda and Joe spent two intense days navigating class III rapids on the Westfield River in the Berkshires. As fate would have it, though now experts, they capsized again. Rhoda later recounted the moment as she looked downstream at huge boulders in the current. She said she wasn't scared for her life -- but rather how she was going to explain to her surgeon why she was all black and blue!

Rhoda was no more brave than you or i might be facing cancer, surgery, multiple rounds of chemo, and then the crushing disappointment of relapse after a year of remission. But she maintained her unique personality, her integrity and her sense of humor through it all. And in the end, as we tried to nurse and comfort her, it was she who ended up giving so much healing to us -- in her tenderness, her joking, her courage and her love.

Danny Botkin

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I know that you share with me deep feelings of grief and loss at the death of our mom. It's hard to believe that I will not share with my mom any more of the life adventures and sweet family times she so thoroughly enjoyed... I do believe, however, that Rhoda is not gone. I believe we can recognize her among us in all the different ways that she has touched our lives. In this time we can not only mourn our loss, but also affirm and celebrate her enduring spirit that lives on with us.

My mom lives on in her family - her children, her grandchildren, her mother, her sister. Looking at each of us you can see reflections of her spirit, her love. These past two plus years of pain and suffering have also seen the deepening of our loving connection as a family in ways we could not have imagined. For this gift, I will be forever grateful. Even as her body became sicker, my mom became more radiantly beautiful and loving. I am proud to be Rhoda's son, and know I will carry her with me always.

She lives on in the many children whose lives she touched as a teacher. She never got the public acknowledgement she deserved for the dedication, love and skill she brought to this work. However, her children continue to send letters telling of the tremendous impact she had on them.

My mom lives on in her many circle of friends. Whether teaching, camping, canoeing, skiing or sick in bed, she had a special way of making friends and loving the people in her life.

And she lives on in the heart of her life partner, my dad, where precious memories of shared adventure can never die. His unwavering caretaking of her through her illness is a testament to a love and commitment that can face death itself... There will always be a place for Rhoda in our hearts. -- Steven Botkin

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